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....a truth story...And i thought back about that night i got into your car..
I thought to myself and asked myself over and over...why did i do it??
Now, just like a dam wall breaking around me,
i figured it out.. i figured out why i got in..
and the only thing that makes sense.....
because my color,
i still very much love you....
my thought's cut right through me,
the day's without you,
are just the moment's father time lets me bleed..
And trust me i'm calling out,
with every sentence i speak of you,
my heart skips required beats.
yeah, still you stop this heart
and you're gone..
it just wont stop bleeding,
But I can wait,
yeah, i can wait here bleeding out forever..
Because your the suture i crave,
the anesthetic i desire,
and even though i'm dying,
I'd be able to look into your eye's
and just smile,
because this pain ripping through my body..
would have finally,
eventually have stopped..
My dreams take me to you...
when I think of you...
But not always,
because it kills me silently every other night.
My mind makes it real...
Like the way your kisses took my breath away..
And how I would hold you...
like something I might of accidentally lost,
yes, my color..
you actually made that one true..
Because of you...
there are things I'll never forget.. always unfortunately remember....
The warmth between our hands,
the tenderness of your lips.
the look you always had in your eyes,
the love I felt in my heart,
how for once i saw life though eyes of color..
and how love is really excruciatingly strong..
And maybe by tomorrow,
i wont miss a thing..
hopefully, happily i can forget you my color
Another day happily spent with no thoughts of you,
to me a day i can try truly once again exist..
without constantly destroying my mind,
with thoughts of you...
Just a..just a blur,
a moment once along time ago..
never again true..
yet to me was held so true,
So one last time,
that's all i beg you please...
for it was just a blur..
a moment of you..
and a moment of me..
The chasm.. (that you created)There's a space that i thought was for my soul..
its vacant and alone.
that was never there,
it used to be a shade,
but that grey felt ok.
it felt alright because it was there..
then you came..
and those shades of grey,
just went away..
and was replaced with something new..
but as quick as you came,
you cast me a stray,
and left with something true..
and now when i look at that space for my soul,
i feel so alone,
because i truly do know
that space i felt.
was only you...
Maybe..i wanna swim in the ocean,
i wanna take my chances,
i wanna live this life i live today clean,
because of you i'll find my way back home..
yeah hopefully tomorrow i'll be able to get back home..
where i truly belong.
so marry me while we're young,
and definitely whist we still exist..
because tomorrow may not be..
it could just be...i don't know,
but that's it...
because while we're here..
i want it to be just you and me
if i could..If i could.
your so lucky, you smile everyday!
i wish i could be like you..
your so pretty and handsome,
i wish i could be like you..
your so genuine,
i wish people were like you..
i reply and say..
you think i'm lucky??
i fake this smile because i'm not really ok,
you think i'm pretty??
i'm disgusted by myself and hate my reflection in every way..
i'm not genuine,
i just not bothered trying to chase down empty lies..
But if i could i wouldn't exist..
and that's the real me..
so tell me..
what is it you want to be?
the real serotonin deprived me....
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